CONTRIBUTIONS

When contributions are forthcoming, for many it is a straight forward decision to accept the money with open arms (and pockets).

In 99% of cases, a volunteered contribution is a generous, no strings attached offer, a sign of love and a helping hand. But before going onto talk about the wonders of the parental (or other relation) contribution, a few words of caution.

Whilst 99% of contributions are a wonderful gesture, in the remaining 1% of cases there may be an ulterior motive. For example, assuming that you accept the money, will the contributors expect to have a major say in all decisions about the Wedding? Perhaps they are doing it to shame other parents/relatives who have little money themselves to make such a contribution. Unlike certain books you may have read, magazine articles you may have seen or websites you have visited, we believe that there is no point in pretending that it is all happy families – so if such a situation applies to you, make sure that you think long and hard before taking any decision to accept.

With the words of wisdom over, it is time to think about whether you will accept the offer. In most cases this is a given, but perhaps (as already discussed) there is an ulterior motive behind the offer, or perhaps you do not want to feel indebted to anyone. You may have significant financial resources to be able to pay for it all yourselves, or conversely feel that whilst it is a generous offer, your parents cannot really afford to be making it. Whatever the case, whilst most will accept graciously, if you are going to refuse make sure that you explain your decision carefully and tactfully.

So far we have assumed that the contributions are forthcoming, but what if there is no sign of a volunteered contribution?