SHORTLISTING CANDIDATES

Finally, make sure that your partner fully knows your feelings on this matter and ask them to show understanding and sympathy so that the ‘unwanted guest(s)’ blend into the background and you hardly know they’re there. It may seem a big deal right now, but if you do things well, you’ll be able to look back on the day and wonder where all the worries came from.

The Views of Others

Many couples will be going down the path of funding the wedding in the traditional manner, with both sets of parents contributing financially in one way or another. If you fall into this category then, if they haven't been said already, it won't be long until you hear the magic words, ‘just you remember who’s paying for this thing!’

For all their good intentions, every parent has a view as to who should attend their child's wedding, and only the most tactful and careful individual can avoid passing those views on. Some names will be subtly dropped, whilst others will be done so in a far less tactful manner – either way the names have been mentioned in an attempt to get them onto the guest list.

Depending upon how receptive you are to the views of others, (or depending upon how forceful these views have been made!) then you may or may not choose to listen to them. The key with regards the names that have been thrown into the ring is to understand why they have been mentioned before deciding one way or another. Some names may be suggested simply to ‘return a favour’, whilst others have been given for ‘showing off’ purposes, others may have been mentioned because they are close friends.

The general rule of thumb when it comes to any name that has been suggested that was not originally on your list is to take them on a case by case basis. If your budget will allow for a couple of extra invites, then perhaps the names are worth considering, especially if you don’t have any strong views against them attending and their doing so would help to keep the peace! But as we keep stressing, the guest list is for the couple to determine, so whatever happens make sure that you stick to your guns and don’t invite someone if you really don’t want them there.