The Grooms wedding speech is usually the shortest of all the three main wedding speeches, but that doesn't mean that is needs to be devoid of humour.
Wedding jokes, quotes and one liners can be integrated quite successfully into any Grooms wedding speech and help make it a memorable few moments in the spotlight for the Groom and all of the wedding guests.
This article take a look at some of the best jokes, quotes and liners around. When incorporated into a Grooms wedding speech, they are an easy way of injecting humour and sincerity into the proceedings.
Grooms Wedding Speech Jokes
Does anyone here know the definition of marriage? Well, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, and I quote, 'Marriage: The most expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.'
Before today I must admit I had three women wanting to marry me so I decided to set them each a test to help me decide which two to ditch. I gave each of them £50 to see what they'd do with the cash. The first one bought me a brand new designer shirt, the second bought herself some sexy lingerie for us to enjoy and the third invested it wisely and brought me back £100. I thought long and hard about what each one had done, but in the end decided to go with the one with the biggest breasts (or whatever other prominent feature your new wife has).
I've always wanted just the two children whereas my darling new wife has always wanted the threee. A few days ago, I decided to put my foot down and told her that after our second child I would have a vasectomy. Quick as a flash, she replied "That's fine, I just hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own!"
more wedding speech jokes...
Grooms Wedding Speech Quotes
When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out. (Elizabeth Bowen)
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. (Mickey Rooney)
There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day, knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps. (Ronald Reagan)
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. (Old Scottish Proverb)
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” ('When Harry Met Sally')
more wedding quotes...
Grooms Wedding Speech One Liners
You never knew what true happiness is till you get married - then it's too late of course!
I haven't spoken to my new Mother-In-Law for over a year. I think it's rude to interrupt her.
They say love is blind. But I'll tell you something, marriage is a real eye-opener!
more wedding one liners...
Recommended Reading
For those of you wanting to find out more, we've a whole host of other wedding speech articles on the site packed full of expert information and inspirational ideas, not to mention our online wedding directory that's filled with toastmasters, speech writers and more.
For friendly tips and helpful advice take a look at our wedding speech forum, or why not check out the 'related articles' and 'pages & websites you may like' below.
